So here’s the deal. Justin and I were out doing a spring cleanup in a client’s yard. The client came out and spoke to Justin and asked him if we could move a concrete statue to a different area of the landscape for him while we were there. Justin told him “of course, no problem” and asked the client to show him where the statue was and where he wanted it moved. Justin and the client walked to the backyard to assess the situation while I continued to diligently clean out the front beds.  Justin returned a short while later and said that we would move the statue after we had all the beds cleaned out, right before we put down the fresh mulch. I pleasantly agreed that this was a good plan and we worked companionably for a few more hours until the beds were cleaned to our satisfaction. All we had left to do was apply some pre-emergent herbicide to control weeds from germinating and put down the fresh mulch. Little did I know what was in store for me. 

We went back to look at the statue and come up with a game plan for moving it. Justin showed me where the statue was  and shifted it a little bit, noting how heavy it was and how it would be tricky to move it from where it was to where the client wanted it. 

A note about Justin. He is a fairly big guy. I am funnier and smarter for sure, but he is definitely bigger and stronger than I am. He is also a bit of a show off, so it didn’t surprise me that he rejected my idea about using tarp to cushion the statue and a wheelbarrow to move it three times. He just had that look on his face that made me sigh, because I knew what he was going to do. “You’re just going to manhandle it, aren’t ya” I said in an exasperated tone. And he simply nodded. 

Justin took a deep breath, grasped the concrete statue of St. Francis and, grunting, he heaved it up onto his shoulder.  He visibly staggered under the weight of the concrete, and once again I tried to offer my idea of a wheelbarrow. He shook his head and instructed me to clear the path to the front yard. Grudgingly I obliged, although I certainly did not understand why we couldn’t just use a wheelbarrow, and protested his plan of action as he began carrying the statue to its new home. 

Since we hadn’t agreed upon a plan of action before my compadre decided to be a big shot, there were a lot of obstacles in the way for me to move and Justin was starting to look a little bit concerned. He was bringing the statue right behind me as I was frantically clearing the way. He kept telling me to hurry up and I kept muttering about his ego getting us into this. 

As we finally turned the corner of the side yard and were at the driveway, Justin said he couldn’t carry it alone anymore and asked me to help him. I was thinking to myself that I could take some of the weight off, and hopefully we could set it down gently in the yard. The client was watching us and he had a repairman over as well and we were struggling. I went over to help Justin and he turned to me and TRIED TO OFFLOAD THE WHOLE STATUE ONTO ME. I remember having serious reservations about if he couldn’t do it, it would more than likely break me. I remember I put my hands up and stepped away from him and said “I CAN’T, JUSTIN, I  CAN’T” 

For whatever reason, he ended up talking me back into helping him. I was pretty sure I was gonna die, but whatever, so he began transferring the weight to me. It was not nearly as heavy as I thought it would be. In fact, it was not heavy at all. It was a resin cast statue and my boy did me dirty. As my eyes widened in surprise, he gave me a smile and said, “Look John, you can! You might think you can’t, but you can!” And then he made it into some motivational speech while the rest of the crew and the homeowner and the repairman laughed.

Oh Justin.